a powerful gathering of voices from our community
Connected is a platform for individuals to share their own stories of recovery, frustration, resilience, grief, and hope.
what is an anthology?
An anthology is a collection of works, such as stories, poems, essays, or artwork, that are brought together in a single volume or event, usually centered around a common theme or subject. The contributors may come from various backgrounds, and the works can be of different styles or formats, but they are unified by a shared focus.
A Community anthology
A community anthology typically showcases the voices and experiences of individuals within a specific community, offering diverse perspectives on a particular topic, such as recovery, mental health, or personal journeys.
“When we come together and share our stories, we discover that we are never alone, and through that connection, a community is born.”
— Unknown
our anthology
We are honored to invite you to contribute to the Virtual Community Anthology, a celebration of your voices and experiences that create our collective story.
All submissions will be featured on this page as well as curated into a visual collection to be featured as our exclusive content across our social media channels. This focus on our community anthology is a heartfelt effort to center your voices, amplifying these powerful narratives, celebrating the strength and resilience that define our community.
Your stories are invaluable, and we are honored to share them with the world.
stories shared are strength multiplied
“Hi, My name is Katherine and I'm ready to share my story. I'm just a typical girl surrounded by food. In 2016 my Mom died tragically and I started to pick up habits I never had before. I never thought my way of eating would get so out of control. I started to eat my feelings away after my Mom died and things just got worse. So then I started to get testing done and found out I had an eating disorder. I always thought having an eating disorder was typical in this crazy world but I have come to find out it wasn't. So I started therapy and working with my doctors to get this under control. As I was doing so I heard about project heal. I've learned so much about Project HEAL I started volunteering and to me it's been incredible. Thank you for letting me share my story.”
— Katherine M.
“I had been a volunteer firefighter and EMT for seven years when a drunk driver seriously injured two members of the ambulance crew that I was responsible for on a cold, icy February evening. I thought I was doing fine in the aftermath because I was able to keep going and didn't have nightmares, but I didn't realize that all of the little changes in me were trying to point out how much I was struggling. As I progressed in my medical training and my military career, it was easy to hide what I wasn't eating. Physical fitness is a priority in the military, so no one questioned why I spent so much time at the gym or some of my apparent dietary "quirks." Over time, it eventually became more and more challenging to hide the fact that I was struggling with depression, PTSD, and anorexia. I was more worried about the impact of my diagnoses on my military career than I was about the impact of my diagnoses on my ability to keep living, and I refused to engage with recommended treatment because I was afraid of how it would look in my medical records. With the help of an incredibly supportive and patient family physician, I slowly began to trust a few members of my healthcare team and take a few tentative steps towards recovery. When my weight stabilized, those around me were relieved, but there was still so much more work to be done. Over a year later, I finally had enough trust in my treatment team and enough frustration with my current state of health that I agreed to seek treatment at a higher level of care to more aggressively treat my eating disorder and depression. Treatment was hard work, and I was very aware of the impact that it could have on my career. Coming back to work from treatment was a challenging transition. Treatment didn't magically make everything better, like I had envisioned. I still had long days and hard days after I returned to work, but little by little I continued to build on the progress that I made. In the 5 years since I discharged from PHP and IOP, I'm amazed by the progress that I've made, and humbled by the distance that I still have to travel. My experience has shaped me as a person, a physician, and a Naval Officer, and I am so grateful for the perspective that I have gained, even though it came at such a steep cost.”
— Meghan Q.
“This past year and a half has allowed me to come full circle to see that eating disorder recovery is where we finally get to live and see life in full bloom. It is the gift of being present, the kindness that pours out of my heart instead of the bitter, lonely world I kept myself inside of for so long. It is the profound realization that I am so much more than the size and shape of my body. Eating disorder recovery has opened up so many doors for me. It's nourished a healthy relationship with fitness. Leading me to be strong enough to train for my first marathon and love every step of the journey because I am moving to celebrate all that my body has overcome instead of moving out of hatred for what it lacks. Training for this marathon is a very full-circle moment for me. It has shown me the grass is truly greener on the other side and I wish I could hold the hands of my younger self and tell her how worth it she will find it to see it through.”
— Caitlin N.
“At 2 years old I was diagnosed with a disability called Cerebral Palsy (CP). I grew up in and out of doctors appointments and hospitals for surgeries. It became my normal for basically all of my life. I struggled a lot growing up because I thought something was “wrong with me”. I thought I was broken and didn’t belong anywhere on this planet.. As the doctors appointments and surgeries kept continuing, I became really self conscious of my body physically and mentally. At 8 years old, the doctors were always commenting on something to do with my body whether it was because of my Cerebral Palsy or because my body “looked different”. They commented on my weight a lot and it made me so sad/heartbroken/insecure.. I had always thought something was wrong with me, but now it felt like something was wrong with me, Kenli. About 3 years later I slowly developed an Eating Disorder. I was so ashamed of my body and I thought everything that was happening was my fault. I suffered for a really long time in silence until people started to notice. After that everything was a blur.. I had a weird feeling of deja vu because there was more doctors appointments, more hospitals, and even treatment centers. I felt so scared and stuck all the time. I thought I wouldn’t make it out of my struggles alive. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at such an early age, I genuinely thought the odds that were against me were going to win. I was in a treatment cycle for 7-8 years and I saw no other way of life than that cycle. That is until I finally realized how badly I did not want to lose my life. I realized how much I want to live! It was a terrifying realization.. and, it and all of the people who supported me on my journey, saved my life. It wasn’t easy because healing isn’t an easy process. But the day I got to walk out of my first treatment center doors successfully, the day I published my first and second poetry book about my recovery and experiences, those days were worth living for! There are SO many things that are worth living for. It doesn’t matter how big or small they seem. They are all important because they are what keeps us going! Pain and struggle is hard/inevitable.. and I had to realize that (as unfortunate as it is) but recovery and healing is the best antidote to that pain. It will not be easy, but nothing good is. I lived my life in shame, secrecy, and fear for far too long.. I am proud to say recovery is something I’m actively pursuing and choosing. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but we as humans are made to have the ability to do hard things! I want to grow and continue to help others with their journeys and say “I see you, I’ve been where you are.. and anything is possible because you are made of possibilities.” I never thought I’d get to where I am. It truly shows anything is possible.. I am proud to say, “My name is Kenli, I am a disabled queer woman and I am choosing recovery. I will not let my struggles and challenges define me. I am worth more than people’s opinions and my Eating Disorder. So I choose love. I choose growth and light. I choose LIFE! and I will never let anyone or anything take that choice away from me again.”
— Kenli C.
“An original poem written my first time in ED Residential.
Sadly it was not my first hello or final goodbye with anorexia nervosa.
But I am glad to say I have not had urges in quite a while and I feel very stable in my recovery!
Where am I?
Who am I?
I’ve Lost Myself All of Me Is This What I’ve Become?
The Monster of Anorexia I Have Become an Appendage of You I’m Sick of This I’m Tired of You But Am I Really?
I Still Miss You I Still Need You Or Maybe I Just Want You Your Voice Is Still With Me But You’re Starting to Fade Is This How It’s Supposed to Go?
Can I Just Trust This Flow Taking You Away?
Are They Even Leading Me The Right Way?
Who Can I Trust?
Do I Trust You?
Do I Trust Them?
Do I Trust Myself?
Do I Trust Anything?
What Am I To Do?
Torn Between Relapse and Recovery Torn Between Being You and Being Myself But I’ve Started To Find Me Again Is This Who I Am Without You?
Do I Really Have a Spark and A Personality?
Maybe This Is Me The Real Me Who I’m Supposed To Be Is This What Happiness Tastes Like?
Maybe I Can Continue The Fight So I Can Find Some More Light But I’ll Always Remember You The Good Times, The Bad Times The Compliments, The Insults The Happiness, The Sadness The Agreements, The Fights And No Matter How Much Light You’ll Always Be In Sight I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Forget You Anorexia But Maybe That’s Not The Point?
Maybe It’s To Remember What You’ve Taken To Remember What You’ve Done To Remember How You Made Me Feel I Hope This Is Our First Hello and Our Final Goodbye So Goodbye Ana, Hello Me.”
— Tara D.
“What started out as "Mom, I'm bingeing and can't stop" quickly morphed into anorexia. She was 15 at the time. Our family went through over a year of difficult struggles - PHP / IOP program, weight restoration, and another horrible relapse. It was late 2016 when I found Project HEAL, by way of a Facebook group - from another mom whose daughter was facing this illness as well. We were blessed to have received a scholarship for treatment at UCSD's Intensive Family Treatment program in January 2016. That program truly saved our daughter and started her (and our family) on the path to recovery. It has been nine years since the initial diagnosis and I'd be remiss to if I said all has been well. It's been period of hills and valleys, a relapse here, a tough few months there, body image difficulty. But, overall, our daughter has been fighting for her recovery and the chance to lead a regular life. She's working at her dream job, going to grad school, and has a wonderful boyfriend (and his family) who are a great support network for her. I don't know if she would be where she is today without Project HEAL and for that - I will forever be grateful.”
— Aimee B.
“I have had anorexia since I was 13 years old. It is now in partial remission. My path of recovery has been very difficult but extremely worth it. I'm finally being able to enjoy my life and I never thought I would make it to this point. Eating disorder recovery is very difficult but it is so worth it. It can get better, and I am so thankful that I stuck with it.
— Anonymous
“In middle school I had a friend who was a gymnast. She would tell me about the things her coach told her about eating and weight - how it was “too much”. At the time I thought it sounded crazy. How could anyone say that to someone? How could someone tell their student that they are “fat” or eat/weigh “too much?” And who would listen to a person like this? Who would believe it? Surely, I would never believe something so ridiculous. I was smart, and I knew better. By 14, I was consumed with diets and weight loss, and by 15, was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. It happened both suddenly and slowly. I learned a bit about Anorexia from a memoir, and while I was horrified at the thought of it, something also drew me in. The thought that I could do those things…I could engage in these behaviors - and it would make me feel better. At the time I didn’t know of any reason why I needed to feel better, but I was convinced that this would be my solution. I think that I thought of eating disorders as a somewhat abstract concept - I had some knowledge of what they were, but even as I was slipping into it, I didn’t recognize it. To be honest, I didn’t think anything was really wrong until I found myself hiding in my room screaming and crying - hungry, but unable to eat. As they often do, my eating disorder has evolved in many ways throughout the years. Symptoms came and went, sometimes they were replaced by others. My weight went up and down (which is not something that is indicative of the severity of an eating disorder). I’m 35-years old now and didn’t enter residential treatment until I was 27. In those years, I have been in and out of treatment programs at various levels of care. I still struggle, and sometimes miss my eating disorder - and I think I always will. And that's also okay. Everyone's recovery and healing is their own, and this is what it means for me.”
— SOPHIA P.
“I just got accepted to Project HEAL’s meal support and it's rapidly become indispensable for my recovery. I have no resources for any higher level of care and have to pay out of pocket for nutrition therapy and even regular therapy despite having Medicare and Medicaid. project heal is pretty amazing. feeling really lucky and grateful to you all and very welcomed in your meal support spaces.”
— ANOnymous
“Currently living at home with family. ED has gotten worse in some ways. ED started fall 2023. I did an evaluation and was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and avoidant restrictive disorder. I have grown in many ways but I am still struggling with the ED.”
— ANOnymous
“My story is my grandson, who discovered his disorder and admitted to it and that he was powerless alone. He single-handed sought help and with the love of the experts and support of his family has gone on to create a full life. I admire him so much and I love seeing him move through his life with certainty and maturity.”
— Kathleen K.
“My road to recovery has been an up and down process for the past 30 years. It started when I was 15 and always seemed to rear its ugly head when I am struck with grief and loss. The first tragic loss was when I was 19 and lost my best friend to her eating disorder. At 19 she was admitted to the hospital and on her way to treatment she passed away from a heart attack. Along with survivors' guilt, the trauma and unresolved grief, I couldn't cope. I never took the time to deal with my emotions but numbed myself with daily tasks and eating disorder behaviors. It wasn't until divine intervention and loss of my job that I was able to face my ED head on. My mantra: "The only way out is through" I would remind myself when the emotional pain was unbearable. Yes, I wanted to give in, and sometimes I did, but didn't give up on myself. There are hard days, but I have learned coping strategies, walking, ED podcasts, building my support system, journaling events and reframing. Most of all challenging my food rules, trusting my ED coach and dietitian, that it WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE, but nothing changes from comfort. But now I can say with confidence that I am FREE & HAPPY for the first time in a long time. I am getting to know myself, thinking more clearly has only amplified my RECOVERY. Now I am finally in a position where I can share my story along with all the other stories that gave me HOPE, that YOU too can recover. What interesting is that my body connection mantra is: "I hear you; I am listening & I honor you". When really that is what I have always needed, and it feels good to be the one to give that to myself. I am grateful for the advancements, outreach & knowledge that has evolved for better personalized treatment. I attribute these advancements to me finally being able to understand my relationship with my ED and how build back by intuitive desire to have a healthy relationship with myself."
