THE REALITIES OF TREATMENT AS A BIPOC
I graduated high school with the hope and excitement that freshman year of college would live up to its image. It all came to a stop when a few traumatic situations occurred within the two weeks prior to leaving for college. My mental health began to plummet. I felt unworthy and unsatisfied with who I was and took control of the only thing I thought I could control: my weight.
I was surrounded by beautiful women who did not look like me. The color of my skin made me feel like I was at a disadvantage. I tried everything to look prettier and attractive, which only made me more insecure.
I realized the lengths I took to achieve this unattainable goal were detrimental. I needed help but I was too scared. I learned in class that Black Women are the least likely to have eating disorders and it broke me. I felt completely invalidated. Were doctors going to believe me if I sought treatment? Would a therapist believe me? Would my parents deem my treatment important? The countless stereotypes used against Black women overwhelmed me.
As I began treatment, I noticed I began downplaying how much my ED consumed me. I did not want to seem “dramatic”.
I thought I could fix the eating disorder myself and be the strong Black Woman the world wanted me to be. I tried to deflect how much the color of my skin truly affected how I saw myself.
I realized that the only way to fight this battle is to be truly honest with yourself, recognize the hurt that had been caused, and fight against it.
That is when I began dismantling the stereotypes that were constantly in the background of my head when meeting with physicians and mental health professionals. I deserved help just as much as a white woman. The second I realized I deserve recovery, everything changed. I started to assert myself when talking to my physician and therapist.
I think often of other Black girls like me feeling undeserving and it breaks my heart. No matter your race, ethnicity, or age you deserve treatment, support, and love.