Five Tips for Coping with Selective Eating During the Holidays
If you have ever dealt with food aversions, whether due to sensory sensitivities, fear of negative consequences (choking or nausea), or a lack of interest in food, you don’t need someone to tell you how difficult holiday gatherings can be. While our families may love to share traditions of special foods and big meals, for some, these can be experiences that generate a lot of stress and anxiety when it comes time to sit down at the table. No singular strategy is going to make holiday meals completely worry-free, but there are five strategies that have helped my sons feel a little more confident.
Be Realistic
Maybe you have been working on expanding your diet, doing gentle food exposures, building on what you like, and making more foods familiar to you. You may be proud of the progress you have made and want to be able to further it at a holiday meal. However, holiday meals are often filled with foods that are only present a couple of times per year. These foods often have intense aromas or unique textures which can be sensory overload and make it harder to test out the skills you have been working on. That’s ok! Remember: holidays are a predetermined length that you can prepare for, and your experiences during this time do not represent a setback if they prove to be more challenging than you anticipated.Prepare Yourself for the Meal
Find out what is being served at the meal and what time it is being served. Determine which foods you will absolutely eat at the meal and those that you might be interested in trying. If you cannot imagine eating most of the food, you may want to pack foods that are sensorily familiar to you or eat prior to the event. It is more important to have enough food to carry you through the day than to have a lot of variety. Many times holiday meals are not at regular times. If the time is going to greatly throw you off your schedule (especially if you are working with a dietitian to follow a meal plan), it may make it harder to eat. You may need to have a snack before arriving.Prepare for Comments
If you have dealt with food challenges for a while, you have likely had relatives offer unsolicited advice or been labeled as a “picky eater” by relatives. It is important to remember that your existence is not defined by what you eat or how you eat. You have activities that you enjoy, goals, and dreams. Choose to sit by someone who is supportive of you and recognizes these things about you. If there is someone that you trust at the event, you could reach out to them prior and ask them to sit with you. You may say something like: “I’m not really sure why I eat the way I do, but here is what would really help me if you are willing..”
Plan for Smells and Nausea
If the smells of certain foods can make it particularly difficult for you to eat any food, it will be essential for you to avoid the kitchen area while the holiday meal is being prepared. You may also want to avoid being the first person to take the first scoop out of a dish, even if it is something that you like. The first serving out of a hot dish can smell the strongest. Wait until the food has had a couple of servings dished out of it before taking your serving. This gives the food a chance to cool off a little and not smell as strong. With nausea, avoiding caffeine and sticking to ginger ale or ginger tea can be helpful. You may also want to wear a wristband for nausea that many folks wear for motion sickness and travel. Chewing techniques can also help. Plan to chew your food right away, placing it on the sides of your mouth or on your molars, rather than directly on your tongue.Try to Enjoy the Day!
Lastly, it is important to pick one thing you want to focus on after attending the holiday gathering. You may have bad memories of holidays like being forced to try foods or being made to sit at the table long after others have finished. It is important to acknowledge and work through that pain, but it is also a great time to create new memories. There may be particular family members that you don’t see very often that you want to get to know better. There may also be traditions that you do have fond memories of, such as watching a holiday movie or playing a particular game. It is possible you would like to introduce a new game or a new tradition. Whatever it may be, having something to focus on can lessen some of the anxiety surrounding mealtime.
In the end, there is no right or wrong way to approach the holidays. A few of these strategies may make sense to try, or there may be entirely different strategies that work for you. Planning ahead (and not just worrying about) the day can help set you up for a more positive experience and set the stage for future positive experiences as well.
