Personal reflections on eating disorder field leadership
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
Dear eating disorder community,
I want to start by acknowledging that I have seen all that is going on with NEDA - not only this week or these past months, but since I’ve been in this role. As someone who deeply cares about people with eating disorders, and who is dedicating my life to trying to make this space better for those it claims to serve, it’s been extremely difficult to watch.
Personally, I am in utter awe of and fully support those who are using their voices and their platforms to share their experiences of gaslighting, betrayal, and outrage. Truth-telling and justice are among my strongest personal values, and while it’s disturbing to learn that much of the backwards thinking in our culture is shared by our largest and best-funded organization, I’m so grateful to everyone who is telling the truth and seeking justice at their own personal risk. Without whistleblowers and transparent accountability processes, movements don’t stand a chance. To each of you I say, thank you for leading the way.
As the CEO of Project HEAL, I want to practice the transparency I preach and share that it has always been tricky for me to discern what my role should be in making statements against other eating disorder organizations. We at Project HEAL have strong social justice values and we believe it is our responsibility to help change the system that we all exist within, that is harming so many of the people it should be most passionate about helping. At the same time, much of what is on repugnant display at NEDA is symptomatic of the very foundations of the eating disorder field, and frankly, exists in myriad ways in many corners of the field which we are seeking to transform.
So while I have been in community with and offering my personal support to so many folks who have been harmed by NEDA over many years, and while I have had many 1:1 conversations with NEDA leadership aimed at holding them accountable to the community we both serve, and while I have often had a hard time biting my tongue on the internet when I see and hear things that deeply trouble me - I have always returned to the north star of my responsibilities to Project HEAL. With a limited budget, less than 10 full-time staff, and a goal to help over 1,000 people get into treatment for free this year (a feat that is astonishingly difficult), I have to be extremely discerning with how we use our limited resources. To be honest, if I responded publicly to every instance of harm, injustice, or discrimination that is brought to my attention in this field, it would easily become my full-time job. Because, sadly, there is SO MUCH. It’s truly awful on more days than I care to recount. The anti-fatness, white supremacy culture, and toxic capitalism that underpins what we’re seeing come out of NEDA right now, I am sad to say, underpins whole swaths of this field. We have had it show up within Project HEAL from time to time. It takes a lot of intentionality and conviction to work within systems without getting some residue on you, and if you’re not careful, becoming a full-fledged part of the problem.
Thus, I have chosen to focus on Project HEAL’s mission, and to work diligently to ensure that the beliefs and values that NEDA is embodying are rooted out from every crevice within Project HEAL’s operations, practices, and team dynamics. It is so important to me that I do everything I can to ensure we live up to our values so that no one ever has to write a post exposing the truth about Project HEAL. I also want to avoid the common pitfall of being so busy focusing on “the bad people over there” that we bypass our own work to investigate where threads and flavors of the same toxicity are present in ourselves. While I am proud to say that Project HEAL is dramatically and intentionally different from NEDA, we are still at risk of getting sucked into the same traps that have gotten them into the mess they’re in today. It’s my job to avoid being distracted by whatever latest nonsense is happening in someone else’s house, which I have no power to change, and focus on managing my own house, which I do.
All of that said, with the recently published internal communication between NEDA’s former CEO and their Research Advisory Council (read here via the incredible Sharon Maxwell’s Instagram), I have reached my personal limit on minding my business and feel the need to speak up.
People of size, fat people, and fat activists are not only a valued part of the eating disorder community, they are our pioneers (among so many others with marginalized identities, particularly BIPOC). They are fighting for a world in which they have the right to not only receive care, but the right to exist. And we join them in that fight. If we can collectively actualize fat liberation, every single person with an eating disorder will share in that liberation. People who are fighting for fat inclusion and basic dignity within the eating disorder community are not “targeting” people - they are whistleblowing. They are not “getting their ire and irritation out of their systems before returning to more significant work” - they are doing the significant work of standing up to injustice. They are not “flexing their online presence” - they are using their voices. Their movement might be fueled to some degree “by hurt and anger,” but their desire to destroy or “take down” is every bit as valid as any other movement that has risen up against oppressors.
The last thing I will say (because this has gone from transparency to ranting), is this. If your mission is to support everyone in the eating disorder community, and you believe that means helping people of size with eating disorders “get treatment” for their “ob***ity”, you have no business being a leader in this field. “Ob***ity” is not an eating disorder. “Treatment for ob***ity” equals intentional weight loss, and intentional weight loss is the leading cause of eating disorders. You cannot claim to be in the business of preventing or curing eating disorders while believing that some people with eating disorders should be assisted in losing weight. Adults have every right to bodily autonomy and can choose weight loss if they insist upon it, but at the very least, it should be done with knowledge that it is discouraged by decades of research and is against the advice of eating disorder experts. It’s really not that hard to understand this basic concept.
I’m so sorry that the eating disorder community is having to grapple with all of this, especially at the hands of those you should be able to trust. You deserve better.
In solidarity,
Rebecca
If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, helplines are offered by both The Alliance (866-662-1235) and ANAD (888-375-7767), and Project HEAL is here to support folks who need an assessment or can’t access treatment. If you’re in crisis, text HEALING to 741741 to be connected to a trained crisis counselor.