“BODY POSITIVITY” OR THINNESS CONFIRMATION? ANTI-FATNESS IN EATING DISORDER RECOVERY SPACES
Written by Grace Bragdon
When I was recovering from anorexia, someone I love attempted to comfort me by reassuring me that even after recovery, I’d probably still only be a size X or Y. This kind of experience, whether in the form of what happened to me or in the form of doctors promising “Don’t worry, we won’t let you get fat!” is not unique.
While eating disorder recovery spaces exist to guide people out of their illnesses, they often further contribute to an illness that plagues society at large: anti-fat bias. This phenomenon, in which preachers of body acceptance perpetuate the hatred of fatness is all too common in spaces designed for healing.
Let’s start with an example, a video on Instagram I am guilty of posting back when I thought it was doing something positive:
“See that pooch on your lower belly? Everyone has it — it’s there to protect your uterus!”
The actual, though unintentional, message of posts like this is “Oh this? It’s not bad fat. It’s just there to protect your organs!” This justifies fat, something we wouldn’t feel the need to do if we didn’t demonize fat so much in the first place (which, ironically, we are actively contributing to with comments like these).
Or consider this trend, which has taken body confidence Instagram and TikTok by storm:
“I’m thin, but even I have rolls when I hunch over and squeeze my belly fat or sit down with poor posture. See? None of us are perfect!”
Or this revelatory post I saw written by someone with body dysmorphia, which said something along the lines of: “Body dysmorphia tells me that I am fat, that I am overweight, that I am too big, but I am not. I can finally see myself accurately and know that these are lies.”
Now I’m going to pose a few questions that far too many body confident/recovery communities fail to consider.
What if I didn’t recover into a size X or Y body?
What if that fat didn’t serve a purpose other than just… existing?
What if your body dysmorphia wasn’t lying to you, and you are as large as you think you are?
And what if that was all okay?
The issue isn’t that people have fat or that they weigh more than they used to; the issue is that our society is so violently anti-fat that these things are seen as problems.
Because we are blinded by our own privilege and insecurities, thin people often don’t see why this is wrong, and for a long time, I didn’t either. I’m bisexual so from my perspective, thin people showing that it is possible for us to have rolls is kind of the equivalent of when someone comes out as sapiosexual. It’s like... What do you want us to say? Who has oppressed you for not wanting to date people you think are dumb?
But we live in an era where marginalized voices are starting to be heard, and non-marginalized people want in on that because they can capitalize on it. (See: the girlbossification of things like plastic surgery and shaving, companies deciding gay is okay as long as it yields profits during the month of June, etc.) The trouble is, when everyone decides they are oppressed even when they are not, it waters down the causes that actually matter, which is precisely what has happened with body positivity.
As a result, many people for whom the body positive movement was originally created are turning to fat liberation instead, which is less likely to be co-opted simply by virtue of its name.
Body positivity can be manipulated to mean anything, including the very opposite of what it is. Fat liberation cannot.
As aforementioned, too often the focus is on how though thin people may have perceived “flaws,” that’s okay because at the end of the day we are still thin.
Even thin people have fat, but it’s okay when we do because once we stand back up again, the rolls go away!
Once the bloat goes down, we have flat stomachs!
Look, when I stand like this, you can see my cellulite, but if I stand like this, you can’t!
If you are a thin person who creates or interacts with these posts, please ask yourself this: “What’s more important: how I feel about my body that is already privileged in society regardless of my own relationship with it, or someone else’s right to live in theirs without demonization and stigma?”
Oftentimes, without realizing it, thin people’s attempt to promote the former results in furthering the latter, which will never, ever be worth it. Once a movement has been co-opted, it can be difficult to see, acknowledge, and actively change how we have been complicit in it. So if this doesn’t quite make sense yet for you, think about it like this:
Imagine a world where everyone is constantly told they need to be an apple, and look like an apple, and that they could be happy if only they were an apple. They’re sold products that promise to get them as close to being an apple as possible, but no matter how much oranges use them, that apple fantasy is always out of reach.
One day, the oranges get together and say “Hey, you know what? We deserve to be happy too!” so they start a movement of their own.
For the first time in centuries, oranges are free to show up as themselves without criticism. They have a safe place within each other, and work to create an environment welcoming enough to include everyone who has always been on the fringes. And finally, oranges are being seen as at least somewhat equal to apples.
The apples do not like this. They know that if enough oranges come to actually believe they are deserving of more, the apples won’t be able to convince them they aren’t.
The apples say, “Let me get this straight. So just because I'm an apple and benefit from being one every single day in a society that was designed with me in mind, I don’t get to be part of the orange positivity movement?”
The oranges glance at each other, unsure what to do. Because... Yeah. That’s exactly it.
Apples are thin people; oranges are fat people.
Apples are straight cisgender people; oranges are LGBTQ+ people.
Apples are able-bodied people; oranges are disabled people.
And so on and so forth.
In summary, body confidence and healing are for everyone, but body positivity specifically is not. Not because thin people don’t deserve to feel positive about their bodies, but because to do so under the name “body positivity” is to center ourselves in a social justice movement created neither by nor for us, but by and for people whose very existences and rights to things like healthcare, housing, and employment are limited by legal fatphobic discrimination.
I’m writing this piece not because I am the authority on this issue, but because sometimes people don’t listen until it comes from someone who looks like them, which is a problem in and of itself.
Time after time I’ve seen the argument from thin people that “It’s all body positivity until it comes to skinny girls,” suggesting that in an age where fat people are starting to be seen by mainstream media as human beings, thin people got the short end of the stick.
From one thin person to another, let me just say this: Your body positivity is being able to go out knowing you can fit in the seats at any restaurant, airplane, or amusement park seat. Your body positivity is runways and advertisements and media being filled almost exclusively by people who look like you. Your body positivity is being able to go to a doctor without being turned away until you change your weight, and only then might your issues be taken seriously. Your body positivity is being legally protected from discrimination in housing, employment, and medicine simply because of your weight (weight discrimination is legal in 49 states).
You may need self love, or to work on your insecurities — and you absolutely deserve to have that! — but if you, as a straight-sized person, believe that you need body positivity, you have a dangerously inaccurate idea of what body positivity actually means and what its origins are. Body positivity is about social justice, representation, and equity — it is not just a trend about loving yourself.
Grace Bragdon (she/her) is a writer, filmmaker, and activist with a focus on body image, eating disorder awareness, and LGBTQ+ issues. Her intention is to use her experiences to try to help others through education and being a resource for self-acceptance and self-love. You can keep up with her on YouTube (@lifefullofgrace) and on Instagram @lifefullofgrace_.