“DEAR CHILDHOOD ME”
Written by Nōn Wels
For most of the 40-plus years I’ve been on this pale blue dot, I’ve felt like I don’t deserve love. Or joy. Or hope. Or really much of anything, come to think of it.
Maybe shame. And hate. Oh, and fingernails, sharpened to miniature knives, against my skin.
In the past decade, I’ve been trying to work on that. Like truly, with all my energy, trying to be more accepting, soft, curious, loving, and empathetic to myself.
But it’s hard, you know?
You get used to a certain way of being, a certain way of relating to the world and yourself, and it’s difficult to move beyond that when your body and heart still feel like they’re in The Scary Place.
My certain way of being and relating was to guard my heart, because that was how I protected myself. Guarding and compartmentalizing and denying myself of wholeness was my comfort and my protector, my armor and my companion, my everything.
This guarding of my heart kept my heart safe. Until it didn’t. Until it stopped protecting my heart, and started limiting my heart. What I realize now is that our hearts aren’t meant to be limited.
Our hearts, all soft and mushy and big and sensitive—are exactly what the world needs.
The world needs feely humans, in all of their empathy and activism and yearning to make the world a better place; in all of their vulnerability and emotional awareness and mental health advocacy.
So, as one way to explore my heart in a deeper way, in the summer of 2020 I started writing little notes to that sweet, sensitive, and guarded kid I used to be.
Some people call that their “inner child.” I call him my childhood me.
Here’s what I first wrote:
dear childhood me,
your sensitive heart is the source of all that is beauty and magic and wonder, not the shame and silence and pain you are living. you may not be seen, but I see you. and I love you.
love,
future me
💙
When I posted it on Instagram, I was a little trepidatious, but if hosting a podcast about mental health for the past four years has taught me anything, it’s this: vulnerability connects us.
It’s vulnerable to be open about who we were once. And it’s our role as humans to protect the most vulnerable.
That starts with you. More specifically, it starts with you loving your childhood me.
The practice of loving your inner child is an opportunity to heal our shame, explore our emotional attachments, and let go of some of the armor we carry from childhood that may no longer serve us in adulthood. Loving your inner child is an opportunity to remember who we were so we might become who we are.
You, and your childhood me, are both worthy of that love, attention, curiosity, and nourishment. But I also know it’s difficult to believe that sometimes. That’s why I didn’t just stop at that first “dear childhood me” post on Instagram; I needed the consistent reminders.
So I kept writing, and I kept posting, and I kept hearing from people how resonant and relatable my little “dear childhood me” love notes were to them, too!
It felt validating. I felt safe and seen in their reflection and empathy. And I was witness, in my own heart and the hearts of my community, to just how much love the childhood versions of us all ached for, and all deserved.
After nearly two years of writing love notes to my childhood me, I decided to do a wild thing and make an inner child journal, obviously called: Dear Childhood Me—which is available now through May 4 as a limited release pre-sale! (If you order before May 4, you also get a bonus set of inner child prompts, a personalized letter from me, and you get your hands on the journals before they go away!)
I hope this journal (or whatever else is helpful in your recovery journey) will be a trusty guide– because your childhood me is worth it.
Nōn Wels is a writer, dog lover, creator of the mental health podcast, You, Me, Empathy, and founder of The Feely Human Collective—a place to grow your capacity for empathy, vulnerability, and emotional curiosity. He leads workshops, both virtually and in person, on empathy, fostering safe spaces, and emotional intelligence for businesses, schools, and organizations.