By: Rebekah Wheeler
Creating a new mindset isn’t easy. I have recently entered a competition in order to fulfill one of my personal dreams and goals. Putting myself out there and scrolling through Instagram and Facebook can easily turn an absolutely fantastic day into one where I am spiraling into self-doubt.
I found myself going down a rabbit trail of reading comments and scrolling weeks and weeks back on other people’s social media feeds in an effort to gauge the level of competition. I was waking up in the middle of the night and finding myself lost in a social media chasm of comparison.
Far too often, I was having one of those days when I found myself six degrees of Kevin Bacon-ing my way to a person who looks perfect from their profile and posts with perfect life and a dream career and no problems or insecurities. It’s easy to immediately jump into the comparison game and start to feel ‘less than.’
Spiraling into social media comparison was making my anxiety worse and I found myself feeling sad to get dressed in the mornings because I didn’t have the newest and cutest outfits. I felt insecure in my clothes because I wasn’t the size and shape of some of the people I was following. I didn’t want to eat my boring food because it wasn’t plated perfectly with an avocado shaped into a flower.
A friend recently gave me some advice that has changed my life. “Unfollow people,” she said.
Sure, it sounds harsh. I want people to like me as much as you do. But just click that little Facebook ’unfollow’ button. Get ahead of triggering posts by unfollowing those who have triggered you in the past.
Because of my history with eating disorders and negative self-image, finding positive and uplifting accounts to follow is vital to my continued recovery. And often, I have to unfollow people I maybe went to high school or college with when their feeds are filled with negativity. I don’t want to be a part of a discussion where it’s okay to complain without presenting a solution. I avoid commenting on posts that can result in drama. I turn off notifications after posting a comment quite often. I don’t need to see what others say after my comment – comparison never breeds positivity.
Insecurity is loud – confidence is silent.
Unfollow people who make you feel less than worthy. Unfollow people who make you doubt your own blessings. Unfollow people who are negative and complain constantly.
Fill you feed and your timeline with things that bring you joy and make you smile. If those things start to make you question yourself all over again, repeat the unfollow process.
Some of my favorite accounts to follow are the Project HEAL chapter accounts, beautiful nature photography accounts, a select few fitness and health related accounts that promote total body health and not ‘get perfect abs’ goals, and some close friends who have similar interests and goals.
On the flip side, make your own social media posts matter. Before you hit ‘post,’ take a second to think about the people it might impact and how they will be affected. Ask yourself a few things:
- Will this post uplift and inspire?
- Is it vulnerable and authentic?
- Does it serve a purpose or is it just a complaint?
- Is it funny or cute or will bring a smile to someone’s face?
Something I love to do is to post a positive and uplifting post first thing every day. It sets my own intentions and keeps me focused on my own goals. When I am having a tough day, I can use my own feed for motivation and support.
I also love to share the little details of life that bring me joy! Share a funny moment, a quote, your cute coffee mug, your socks, your fun earrings – whatever it is that brings a smile to your face.
Take back control of your social media and take back control of your mindset!
Your social media feed is YOURS and you are enough.
About the Author: Rebekah Wheeler resides in Edmond, Oklahoma. Rebekah is a wife, mom of 2 boys, and works full-time in the oil and gas industry. At Project HEAL, Rebekah serves as a National Ambassador spreading the message of hope and recovery. She is passionate about sparkly things, true-crime podcasts, and reading. Rebekah’s favorite treat is caramel almond milk ice cream!