If you follow the Project HEAL blog, you have undoubtedly seen pieces written by today’s blogger, Jory Mullard of the Vancouver chapter. She is a writer, faerie, recovered bulimic, founder of the Vancouver Project HEAL chapter and a lover of self love. Her is another great piece about love for your mid week .
My journey of reclaiming my life and my happiness involved slowly following the steps below over a period of several years.
This is a manifesto for every person who has ever felt that they were not enough. This is for everyone that has ever felt that they needed to change something about themselves to be OK. We gave our power away and now it’s time to reclaim what’s ours!
1. Love Yourself
People try to solve the problem of not loving themselves by changing themselves. They look in the mirror and they hate what they see. They feel inadequate. “If only I was thinner, richer, smarter, or more successful… then I would be happy.” So they try to change their body, make more money, and buy new clothes, but it never fixes the problem. You go back to that mirror and still find things wrong with yourself. The self criticism never goes away. That’s because being unhappy with yourself is just a symptom of the deep issue of not loving yourself. Changing yourself is just a band-aid and it only makes you feel better temporarily. To fix the root of your unhappiness, you need to learn how to love yourself. (Which is a complex subject with many steps – I will outline it in a future blog post. A good general approach is the step below.)
2. Know who you are and know it’s enough.
Have you been focusing on what you aren’t for so long that you’re no longer sure of what you are? It’s time to turn the attention back to getting to know you. What makes you special? What makes your eyes light up? Begin your journey of personal exploration and growth. Learn your strengths, your values, your likes, your dislikes, your passions, and your purpose. Above all, stop trying to change yourself, and start trying to accept yourself. You are enough, just as you are.
3. Step into your own power.
Stepping into your power is about finding out what you want right now, and believing in yourself enough to go get it. Whether is it for pursuing a passion, a purpose, or overcoming life’s challenges (such as eating disorder recovery), you will need your own personal power to do so. Your power is the part of you that says… “Can I actually do that? Yes, I can!” Your power is gone when you believe you’re not good enough to achieve your goals. Once you begin to believe that you ARE enough, you can take your power back. That’s when the magic happens! You will find that without letting negative thoughts about yourself standing in your way…. you can do literally anything and everything you want with your life.
4. Show others that they can do it, too!
Did you think you were the only person that struggled with self-esteem or self-worth… who didn’t think they were enough to get out there and create a happy life? You are not. Pretty much everyone struggles with this to varying degrees, some subtle, some extreme. Whether you wanted to be an astronaut but settled for an office job, or you are struggling to recover from anorexia… everyone has to face the fear that they are not enough.
If you’ve been facing that fear, share! Share your journey of self-love with others. Share your victories, your successes, and your story. Share your new-found gifts and talents with the world.
People will see that if you can do it, so can they.