This post is written by Emily Costa, Project HEAL’s Blog Manager
The other day I saw a post on Facebook that said something along the lines that being between the ages of 18-25 is like playing a video game without the tutorial so you just try to figure it all out by hitting a million buttons. I thought to myself “that is RECOVERY.” I’ll be honest – more times than not, I have no clue what I am doing in recovery. Most of the time, I am taking it day by day and figuring it out with the guidance of my support.
But in the rare case, what can we do when our “support” is being triggering?!
I unfortunately ran into a situation like this today. My nutritionist took the liberty to send me some dining out tips that she thought could be helpful. I welcomed the idea knowing I’d be going on vacation and could use a reminder on how to trust myself when out for meals.
Upon opening the email with the tips, I shook my head in confusion. Lets not get into details, but telling someone with an eating disorder to immediately box up half of their food before eating is NOT exactly in line with my idea of recovery. After reading the message, my mind went on a rampage.
These kind of tips were like fuel to a fire raging in my head. My eating disorder started to shout things like “she thinks you need to lose weight” and “these tips are probably 100% necessary”. Luckily, I was able to fact check this information with all that I learned in my time in treatment. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath and thought to myself:
• I know that food is fuel for my body
• I know that I can eat when I’m hungry
• I know that I can stop when I’m full
• I know that there is no need to fear calories
• I know that there is no need to restrict
• I know that there is no need to limit myself when it comes to food OR life
For a lack of a better word, those tips were just non-sense. They did not have to set back my day, I could move on and feel strong for how I handled the situation. It is important to fact check information we get from others. It is also important to remind ourselves we have the power to step back and take a much-needed breath.
Today I learned that all my hard work has paid off, that I know how to be intuitive, and I know how to be the healthiest and happiest version of myself. Never forget the power of a breath.