An open letter to my eating disorder:
Dear Eating Disorder,
I know we have a love-hate relationship. I know that since we met four years ago we’ve had our share of ups and downs. We’ve had seasons of being the best of friends, and seasons of being frustrated and angry with each other.
It started out well, our friendship- it started out with you promising me that if I listened to your “requests” that my life would be better for it. I believed you wholeheartedly, and now? Now I regret it.
Friendships are not supposed to cost me time with my family, enjoyment of holidays and birthdays, happy memories, being able to work and live on my own. Friendships are not supposed to send someone to the hospital because their “friend” is slowly killing them. Friendships are not supposed to be one person giving in to endless cruel demands of the other. But that is what was happening.
Eating disorder, you are a liar. You feed me lies and convince me not to feed myself, and for a long time it has worked.
I am writing to you today to say that I am done. I am done listening to you, even though I know you won’t stop speaking to me, and likely that you will be trying to sneak back into my life persistently. I am done listening.
Dear eating disorder, you’ve had control over me for far too long. That ends now.
Someone who is no longer, and never again, your friend.